confidence can kill consistency

From last Tuesday To this Monday I spent these 7 days Building a Beta Testing Manager A webapp that's Samson's idea and design And I'm writing the code. Here's some Postulate posts If you want to follow our progress. These 7 days BTM was my #1 priority Each day.

I had dabbled in some Frontend web development Static sites and Basic React In the past. But this is my first time Building a fullstack application with A database Writing API endpoints Authentication.

Which is why When Samson offered me to do it I took the opportunity Excited to build more proficiency in Javascript. And indeed, It did not underdeliver. After deploying a somewhat-MVP On Monday My confidence as a developer Soared. It feels nice to Have built something Functional. Valuable.

I started off the week with Lots of momentum, Lots of emotional energy invested, Excited to build. Yet, 7 days is the most time I've stayed this focused On one project Ever. I feel good because this means I've graduated from Working Staying focued Getting stuff done Discipline As my main problem. Yet, 7 days being the most time I've stayed focus on one project Has some downsides. As the week dragged on, With each passing day, Some hype was lost.

When I learned Connecting to MongoDB from endpoints Auth NextJS Tailwind TypeScript Flexboxes For the first time, And in the first half of the 7 days, As I was Figuring this out, It was a steep learning curve. Most of the time was spent Understanding new concepts But by Friday or so, It became less of "What the hell is this code doing" To Let's just bash out this list of features That I know I'll be able to do If I spent the time Butt is it worth it to spend the time? Will these features be appreciated?

What is the point of this? I would find myself asking. Yup, Samson said we would use this for beta testing Postulate So there is a point I guess. Why am I spending 3 hours Rewriting the get requests To use lookups For more efficiency When Users can't Tell the difference From the frontend? Does anyone Care? If this app has like 10 users, Who cares if We're not being efficient?

At the beginning I Wasn't sure I'd be able to Build the Beta Testing Manger. Which looking back I realize Made me much more invested in The dev work. As a noob, You have so much awe For code that you Don't understand. But by the end of Friday, I was pretty sure I'd be able to fully build out BTM Which led me to start Questioning the point of doing this Questioning the value of this mechanical time spent. The excitement of a mystery Was lost. I was Spending more time debugging known, syntax-esque errors Than learning new things And ultimately Felt more Emotionally drained.

Funny how I kinda felt worse When I'm more familiar with The tech stack, When I think I'm able to achieve What I'm doing. I guess I might've been Overconfident that I'd be able to Finish. I guess this shows that One can't Learn From a place of Certainty. One can't Work as diligently From a place of Overconfidence.

. . .

This isn't just the case with The Beta Testing Manager. When I joined Postulate In March I was pretty stagnant at Writing blog posts Meant for consumption. Back then, Postulate's goal was to help you 10x your learning By publishing what you learn. I had taken private notes in Messy scrawls and Abbreviations that only I can understand My whole life. And so I took publishing Kind of seriously. I wrote 30-ish blog posts Every month For 2.5 months Or so.

By then I was pretty confident In my publishing Abilities. I knew that I'd be able to Write 30 blog posts a month Whenever I wanted to.

Writing a lot Was no longer A mystery A hill to be Conquered But rather A pile of dishes To be washed - A mechanical task that You know if you'd be able to achieve If you put in the time And minimal brainpower Rather than Untreaded territory.

Which is exactly why My publishing output Stagnated By the turn of May or so.

I used to Draw a comic In each and every one of my Monthly newsletters. Even spent 20+ hours On the second comic I ever made In October. And I was Willing to Put in this Absurd time.

Yet, Yesterday, I was drawing this comic Spent about 2 hours on it It's not perfect But I shipped it. I know I can Make it better Make it much better Neater More colourful More details More consistent colours that make sense If I put in Just one more hour. (What a contrast to the earlier 20 hours) Yet, I don't feel like I want to Spend that time.

By now You've probably guessed Why. Because I know that I'd be able to Made this comic Much better I don't feel as compelled To do it. Because I'm already familiar with The digital art process (or my digital art process): Sketch With a gray pencil at low opacity Outline With black ink Colour With a mixer brush Blending different Colours together, I don't feel like I have much left to learn With this extra Hour spent. In contrast, I had never Done something like this before In October. Then, Creating good digital art Was a mystery And I was having fun Spending 20 hours To crack it.

I know that Because most online writing is either image-free Or filled with stock images, Spending a little extra time Creating custom drawings Brings big rewards For small effort. I know that Adding comics to my newsletters Is what makes them Stand out. I know that The number of replies I get per newsletter Drops When I don't put in comics.

Yet, I haven't drew comics For about 5 newsletters Now. Not because I don't think I can But because I think I can.

...

Maybe this reflects A part of my personality That I like New things I like Excitement I like Steep learning curves. But also I have a fear of wasting time So strong that Even spending a few hours Building something I already know how to do Makes me question Whether this is A good use of Time.

Or maybe This is a universal phenomenon That confidence Is a killer of Consistency For more than just Me.

How do you get around this? One may ask. If your root causes Of doing repetitive work Are the same as mine Then here's what I'm thinking.

Firstly, Set goals. Set daily goals Like I do On my daily updates And I can do better. Possibly even plan your hours Like the timeblocking technique. Because As Nir Eyal said on The Knowledge Project podcast You can't get distracted Without knowing What you're getting distracted From. You can't spend your time well If you don't know what Spending your time well On this day, This hour, This minute, This second, Means.

Plan beforehand. Today, at 3pm, I'm going to implement x specific feature on the Beta Testing Manager So that When the time comes, You have No excuses. So that When the time comes, You don't need to worry about Whether what you're doing Is a good use of time Because you have outsourced that decision making To your past self.

Similarly, Set clear goals. Do I want to Draw a comic in my Next newsletter? Do I think it's Worth it? Think about this Earlier If it's So important. Yes, I haven't been consistent in newsletter comics But do I have a reason to be Upset about this? I never had Set a goal To do so. Furthermore, You can Leverage this desire for steep learning curves To your advantage. This is the universe Telling you to Not be complacent Staying stagnant. This is a great forcing function to Try things you're scared of Learn React if You're bored of static sites Learn NextJS if You're bored of frontend-only Make animated YouTube videos if You're bored of comics. Implement Beta Testing email subscriptions If you're bored of the classic Database connections. If you live off of Excitement, fast learning, and mysteries Then try to do things that You don't think you're Able to do.

Finally, If you think something is important But you don't care about it In the moment Find a reason to Care. This is the power of External accountability. Getting customers will solve all your motivational problems, I once saw on Twitter. Because if your customers are demanding This new feature Or even better, This bug fix, Then you will have no trouble Finding the hours to Slog through building them out.

If I'm picturing that Samson Is waiting for me to deploy the Beta Testing Manger I stop questioning Whether it's a good use of time And I just Focus on Building. Building. Building.

If I set up a contract with a friend that If I don't put a comic in my next newsletter I have to send her $20, I won't question spending time on it And just focus on Creating. Moving forward Doing the real thing.

When you want to get anything done Move forward, And do the real thing Always. Move forward as in Focus on the current task on hand And only the current task Not thinking about the past Not thinking about Whether this is Worth the time Only thinking about What you're working on This very second. Do the real thing as in Do what your past self planned For you to do In this time. No substitutes, Only the Real thing.

Confidence may be a killer of consistency If you're not conscious about What type of consistency you Want to achieve. Confidence may be a killer of consistency If you don't do What you planned You would do. Confidence may be a killer of consistency If you overthink Instead of Moving forward. Confidence can be a killer of consistency But only if You let it.